Dear Helen,

How do I deal with prospects who say, “Let me think about it” when we’re having the conversation about working with me? I suspect most of the time they’re just giving me a polite brush off, but I’m not sure how to respond.

- A Little Tongue-Tied

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Dear Tongue-Tied,

You’re absolutely right. Telling you they need to think about it can be an indirect way of saying no, either out of shyness or excessive politeness. It can also mean they need more information.

As I share in my “Art of the HeartSell Conversation” training program, I like to make it clear before I even ask for a yes or no answer that it’s important to me that I not leave the other person in indecision. I want to be sure to give them all the information they need to come to a decision that’s right for them. So if there’s a question or concern they have, the best time to get the answer is right now while they have me on the phone.

I tell them I’m OK with a sincere no. I just want them to arrive at the best choice for them, so energetically we both can move on to the next step.

Dear Helen,

I’ve got a big decision to make about working with someone and I feel torn. I want to say yes but I keep second guessing myself. It’s a significant financial commitment and I’m going in circles thinking, “Am I being selfish to spend this much money on my business? What if this isn’t the right program? What if I don’t get results? What if I’m not ready?”

-What If I’m Wrong?

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Dear What If,

Inspired or impulsive? It really comes down to trusting yourself (and the Universe). You can sharpen that ability to trust with some simple “wellbeing checks.”

To assist in clarity around the decision, ask yourself these questions:

• Do I see any downsides to saying yes?
• What outcome(s) will saying yes make possible?
• Under what conditions would I NOT want to say yes?
• Who else will be impacted by my decision? (Look at the situation from their perspective and see what information you get.)
• Is there any part of me that objects to saying yes? (Do a body sensation check. If so, ask that part what its objection is.)

There’s so much financial anxiety going around these days, it can be contagious. But money isn’t always the best (or the only) criteria to use if you want to make powerful, productive, profitable decisions for yourself and your business.

Dear Helen,

I have not yet accessed the place within me that knows with absolute certainty that what I do is valuable and effective and not just “a hobby.” I know this is getting in the way of me taking action and getting more clients. I believe passionately that what I have to offer is transformative but I just keep hearing voices of doubt that stop me from moving forward in a big way.

How should I deal with this?

-Feeling Like a Phony

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Dear Feeling,

I think all of us lose our center of confidence at one time or another. There’s always more than one way to pet a kitty* so let me share the first thing that popped into mind.

Based on your choice of words, your place of certainty seems to be a kinesthetic experience for you. Find a spot in your home or office that feels like a “power spot” for you. Once there, stand quietly, with your eyes closed, and locate the place within you where that certainty lies (however small it might be at the moment). Once located, notice the shape, texture, sensation, density and color of it. Feel free to “adjust” those qualities to make it as beautiful and empowering as you like. (Adding sparkles always increased the “happy quotient.” ) Once you have it just the way you want it, allow the feeling to grow, deepen and expand throughout your whole body. Spend at least five minutes a day for the next 21 days allowing this feeling to flood your consciousness.

The doubt seems to be more of an auditory thing. Try this – call up the voices of doubt, one at a time, if possible. Again, “adjust” each one so as to lessen its impact. You might visualize a volume control knob and turn it down. You might move the voice to a different location (farther away, behind or to the side). You might change the tone so it’s pleasant to hear. (One woman, plagued by her mother’s nagging voice in her head, changed it to sound like Minnie Mouse. Then she couldn’t help laughing every time she heard it.)

The only thing prolonging the voice of doubt is your giving attention to it. Make a decision to focus instead on your intrinsic value as a spark of the divine.

*I don’t like to use the phrase “skin a cat”

Dear Helen,

The Q&A from Sept. 7 was a message to me as well. The other day I had a free session with a business coach who guaranteed I could build a 6-figure business, but when I told her I couldn’t afford her services right now, she replied that I have many blocks and limiting beliefs and am not ready to jump into the American Dream. I’ve been in business as a life coach just four months now, and I have faith in my heart that it’s the right direction.

I feel like this coach doesn’t understand that my “6-figure business” is a mission for me. I know that I will touch many lives in Latin America, helping women who need love, light and trust, and the more I give, the more I will receive back. Will this really bring me a 6-figure income?

-Doubting in Dallas

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Dear Doubting,

I didn’t hear the conversation you had with this business coach, so I don’t know what might have caused her to suggest that your hesitation to work with her is due to your blocks and limiting beliefs. I do know fear can cause us to hold back from making a big leap (especially where money is concerned). I also know that when making that leap, you have to pick the right people to “catch” you – choosing a coach you trust and feel connection with is crucial.

Believing in yourself despite what may seem like lack of support from others is an important part of achieving your dreams. The “nay sayers” are often a reflection of the little part inside us that may be skeptical or afraid to believe that we can really do it.

I believe truly anything is possible, including a 6-figure business for you and any other spirit-centered coach/healer – if that calls to you. What you need is a structure for taking action combined with loving, tell-it-like-it-is support that clears away old beliefs to make way for a new prosperity-centered mindset.

Dear Helen,

How does a person (me) begin the “money conversation” with a potential client?

-Hyperventilating in Hoboken

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Dear Hoboken,

Well, you hit the nail on the proverbial head of what stops so many service-based business owners in their tracks in this situation. Knowing how to get started, and how to keep the conversation flowing in a focused way, is something that can be learned.

As I share in my Art of the HeartSell Conversation program, you get started by doing two things. One is setting the tone and establishing yourself as the leader of the conversation (not in a bossy way, just like a guide or “pack leader”).

The other is uncovering what the potential client is looking to accomplish, the result they’re after in whatever context you’re working. So, for example, in my case it would be where do they want to go with their marketing/practice-building? Once you have a clear picture of their goals, then you’re able to guide them to see how your solution will help them achieve that (assuming that’s the case).

Dear Helen,

I’ve been working as a Spiritualist Medium in the UK for over ten years and have offered thousands of private telephone readings and in-person “sittings.” Currently, I also work with an online psychic network.

My problem is I know I must expand. But I’m finding it near impossible to secure the 2 or 3 private clients per day needed to sustain my living costs and life. Instead I have to work 6 or 7 hours a day with the online psychic network just to bring in some money. I only receive 20% of the fees the clients pay through the Network. (My private fee is twice that.) Not only that, but 95% of my work online is at the Psychic vibration and my Mediumship vibration may only be used once or twice a day.

I long to be able to work more at my Mediumship level of service to others because it empowers them and does not drain me.

Please help!

- Unhappy in the UK

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Dear Unhappy,

This is a pretty common pickle service-based folks can find themselves in – doing work that doesn’t bring full joy in exchange for the security of income.

The good news is this is a fantastic opportunity for growth and expansion. On an energetic/spiritual level, it’s about faith and trust in Spirit’s ability to provide what you desire (without you having to “make it happen”). By settling for work that isn’t completely joyful, you’re signaling the Universe that you don’t really believe It will send you what you want.

The Law of Attraction works in direct proportion to the level of emotion/energy behind the thoughts we’re thinking. Your action step is to practice the feeling of knowing you’re loved and worthy (so why wouldn’t the Universe give you what you want?!!).

On a practical level, this is about faith as well. Faith in your ability to attract clients who see the value of what you offer without relying on the online network to do your marketing. Your action step is to choose two or three simple marketing activities you can engage in regularly and consistently. The key words are simple and consistently.

Marketing is about creating visibility and connection. Even mediocre marketing -done consistently- is more effective than one big splashy hurrah. No, this won’t necessarily be a quick fix (darn it!), but then, this situation didn’t come about overnight either.

Everything that happens in our lives is an opening for either enjoyment or expansion. It’s our resistance to following Spirit’s lead that makes for unhappiness. Trust Spirit and trust yourself and see where this situation leads you!

“When you have come to the edge of all that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”
-Patrick Overton

Dear Helen,

I just made a very expensive mistake and I feel so stupid. I keep telling myself I should have known better. Now I’m a little afraid to trust my decisions. Any advice?

- Extremely Embarrassed

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Dear Extremely,

I believe there is a positive intention behind every behavior. We don’t deliberately set out to make a mistake; we take action because we think it’s the right thing to do based on the information we have at the time.

What was the positive intent of the part of you that made that choice? What was that part wanting for you that was positive and beneficial?

Once you understand the positive intent underneath the behavior, you’re then free to forgive yourself for making that choice. You did it without malice. You’re also free to choose a different path to accomplish your desired outcome (the positive intent). And you can look for the gift in the experience.

Dear Helen,

My practice is growing and I can feel myself putting the brakes on because I’m not sure I can handle all the clients coming my way.

It sounds crazy since a thriving practice is the goal I’ve been working toward, but now I’m scared. What do you suggest?

- Ready to Run

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Dear Ready,

Not so crazy. It’s human nature to be a bit flummoxed by change. And change is what’s happening here.

Rest assured, though, that as your business grows, you’ll be growing right along with it. (And ultimately, that personal expansion is our real goal, isn’t it?) It’s also helpful to acclimate yourself to what’s coming. Visualize this bigger, better business in your mind’s eye and ask, “Who do I need to be to manifest this vision?”

As you’re willing to be transformed by your business, you’ll open the way for greater transformation through your business.

Dear Helen,

I recently secured a contract that required me to work with a liaison within the company. This person was difficult from the beginning, finding fault and picking at every little thing. I twisted myself inside out to accommodate her.

The final straw was an email she sent at contract’s end saying the work wasn’t completed to her satisfaction and they were going to deduct from the final billing! That was when I finally found my backbone.

I called the company president and explained my side of things. We made a verbal agreement from which I created an updated contract and sent it to both the president and the liaison. I’ve had no response in a week.

I take pride in honoring my agreements so I’ve completed the final work and sent a final billing but this experience has really torn me up. I’m having a hard time letting go.

What could I have done differently?

- Fuming in Fallbrook

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Dear Fuming,

Oh, dear heart, I’m sorry you’re going through this.

You already gave two clues to answer your own question. “This person was difficult from the beginning” and “That’s when I finally found my backbone.”

It never ends well when you try to please difficult clients. It’s a bitter lesson to learn, but one that many heart-centered business owners go through (and will keep going through until it sinks in).

The key is to stand in your power and your worth right from the first moment you notice the other person stepping over the line. As soon as you find yourself twisting in any way (let alone inside out), either speak up or step off the project. Be respectful but be clear you expect respect in return.

Every challenging situation arises to reveal to us an area of growth. You already know how to honor your agreements; that wasn’t the lesson for you here. What you’ll want to practice is honoring yourself – especially when others aren’t.

It would have been perfectly appropriate to hold off on completing things until you received the new agreement and the final payment. At this point, I’d recommend you check in with your inner wisdom to determine how you’d like to bring the situation to a close in a way that is respectful to you. (Hint: it won’t be the easy answer.)

Dear Helen,